the selflessness of Interospection
“You know Me Better Than I Know Myself”.
In a D&M* today, someone said this to me & it got me thinking. For that person be able to say those words to me, they already have a deep resonation & understanding with what that I’d just told them. It’s not something they didn’t know, but it was something that they we’re consciously aware of.
We pick up things throughout life without even knowing it. The films we watch, the experiences we have, the childhood we have. All of these experiences are going to shape you & not always for the better. The thing is, we don’t realise it for the most part. It sneaks in under the radar & we begin to be the sum of our experiences, without being aware of it. Pretty scary right?
So in this particular circumstance, the person I was talking to was telling themselves the story that they deal with things themselves. Always have done, it’s just the way they are. All I added to the scenario, was the why & what that behaviour was then doing in the relationships around them.
See, all this person wanted a deep & meaningful relationship, but they pushed people away when they were vulnerable, because they didn’t want to leave themselves open to hurt. When what they were actually doing, was pushing people away when there was an opportunity for them to connect on a real & meaningful level. I even hazarded a guess, to say that they’ve never had the kind of relationship they’ve always wanted. They always thought the reason for that was external to them, so when I presented the other view - the words came - ‘It’s scary that you know me better than I know myself.’
I didn’t & I never would. We know ourselves better than any other person will do, but the shadows sneak in undetected.
Introspection has always been something to shy away from in older generations. Deemed too much. Too self indulgent. Too self obsessed. My parents & grandparents have always just gotten on with things.
In my eyes, there is nothing more giving, thoughtful & unselfish, than giving yourself deep attention. How else can you ever learn to be deeply connected to another? How else can you know how to relate to another in the most giving & secure way.
*D&M = deep & meaningful convo
(Interoception is the ability to sense and understand what's happening inside your body, including your internal sensations, emotions, and vital functions)